I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
