I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
