I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
