Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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