but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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