She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
