If that was your dad, he is hot
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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