Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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