i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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