if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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