I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize