great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You were trust falling into bushes
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
