ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
