Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
