I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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