It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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