I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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