I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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