Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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