As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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