I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
