the new term for farting is butt boxing.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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