It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
