brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My ATM looks so different sober.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
