Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's blow job season.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Pants are for mortals
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
