White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you win again, gameday.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
