I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
