It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
