yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
