hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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