I'm eating all of the evidence.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
