In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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