i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
