omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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