Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
