the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Buhtt sex?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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