I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
