I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
