i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
