He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
