Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
