garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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