I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
