you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
