hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize