Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
