I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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