I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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