how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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