Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
