i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
