i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
