Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I don't deserve a penis
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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