What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize