after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
