I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
