Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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