I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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