The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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