where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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