This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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