Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
