i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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