Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
