puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
