Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i wish my penis had a tongue
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
