wat bout pragnant strippers??
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
