They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
