We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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